Tom c 2008-09-16 09:14:35
THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 60
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You can live without s** but not without glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them
20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
21. You can’t remember who sent you this list.
Roachable 2008-09-16 09:14:37
Palmer_ent 2008-09-16 09:14:46
When an agnostic dies, does he go to the “great perhaps”?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Do you think Houdini ever locked his keys in his car?
Why is there a road sign that says “Braille Institute, Next Exit”?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If procrastinators had a club, would they ever have a meeting?
If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still No. 2?
Have you ever wondered why just one letter makes all the difference
between here and there?
When you go into a hotel, you always see reception. Why do you never
just see ception?
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save
one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers
take economists seriously?
If genetic scientists crossed a chicken with a zebra, would they get a
four-legged chicken with its own bar code?
If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
Why is there always one in every crowd?
If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?
Who decided “Hotpoint” would be a good name for a company that sells
How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
knowledge is power – growing old is mandatory – growing wise is optional
“Many more men die with prostate cancer than of it. Growing old is
invariably fatal. Prostate cancer is only sometimes so.”
Steve kramer 2008-09-16 09:15:25
Man! I can’t wait. 10 years and 4 days……
Prostate Cancer Survivor (so far), not a doctor
PSA 16 10/17/2000 @ 46
Biopsy 11/01/2000 G7 (3+4), T2c
PSA .1 .1 .1 .27 .37 .75
EBRT 05-07/2002 @ 47
PSA .34 .22 .15 .21 .32
Lupron (1 mo) 07/21/2003 @ 48
PSA .07 .05 .06
Lupron (3 mo) 8/03, 12/03, 4/04,
non illegitimi carborundum
Larry 2008-09-16 09:15:41
Those were great! 🙂
Did you hear about the dyslexic Agnostic who sat around pondering whether or
not there was a Dog?